


The Beauty of Being Lost

by neversleeps



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 05:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neversleeps/pseuds/neversleeps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-3x11. "She hadn’t exactly lied – she’d survive, like always. She’d deal with everything and find the strength to get out of bed and see her brother off tomorrow. She’d get through it and move on. She just desperately wished she didn’t have to go through it alone."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beauty of Being Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feedmyflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feedmyflame/gifts).



> Many thanks to JWAB for beta reading this thing and to semele aka elenaontop for understanding Elena better than I ever have.

Elena tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep.

She had struggled not to show Damon any of it. She had put on a brave face. She hadn’t exactly lied – she’d survive, like always. She’d deal with everything and find the strength to get out of bed and see her brother off tomorrow. She’d get through it and move on.

She just desperately wished she didn’t have to go through it alone.

It wasn’t fair to ask Bonnie, who had already done so much for her, to deal with her trauma in the middle of the night. It wasn’t fair to ask Caroline, who had become Stefan’s friend, too. She couldn’t even fathom the idea of talking about it to Jeremy or Ric. None of them would find the right words. Bonnie would try to be understanding and compassionate and fail, Caroline would try to distract her with chatter she didn’t want to hear, and her family wouldn’t be able to face her for a week after this exercise in embarrassment.

That left Damon, but he was sure as hell out of the question.

Suddenly, something tickled her cheeks. Elena raised her hands to her face and realized she was crying. She wiped off the tears angrily, hating this breakdown, and even more so the one on the bridge. Once she’d sworn she would never give Stefan the satisfaction of watching her break.

“It’s okay.”

Damon?

She turned over to find him on the other side of the bed. In the dark, she could only make out his outline, but she immediately tensed up, unsure what to do.

“Damon, what are you doing here?” she asked. Good, she thought, her voice seemed to sound calm, indifferent. Not shaky. Probably. “I told you. I’m fine.”

He reached out wiped the remaining tears, fingertips barely touching her skin, tracing the line of her eyelashes with an incredible care. “Doesn’t seem so.”

It took all her will power not to lean into his touch. “I’ll handle this.”

His hand slid down to her shoulder, traced the length of her arm. “I know you’ll survive,” he said. “I know you can do it. But you don’t have to go through this alone. So many people are here for you.”

“Yes, but-” she started, but he interrupted her.

“I know you don’t want to cry and upset the people you love. But with me, you don’t have to worry about this.”

There was something horribly wrong with that sentence, something Elena couldn’t quite place. When she did, the realization made her gasp.

Damon had just matter-of-factly excluded himself from the list of people she loved.

She shifted closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and hiding her face in his chest. That was the only way he had to show him how much he meant to her. He tried to soothe her – running his hands up and down her back, kissing her hair. Elena marveled at how good it felt, how _right_. Just being here, in his arms, knowing he would always be there, no matter how broken she felt.

_I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here._

“Thank you,” she murmured, and Damon lifted her chin and turned her head to kiss her temple.

“You’re welcome.”

Elena suddenly realized what position she was in – her face inches from Damon’s, her breasts pressed against his chest, one leg thrown carelessly across his. One of his hands was on her lower back, the other still stroked her face lovingly, making her breath hitch. These hands were the only thing she could hold on to as reality desperately tried to slip away from her.

“Elena?”

She attacked his lips with fury she didn’t even expect from herself. Damon responded hesitantly, surprised, which only spurred her on. She could get lost in this kiss, forget about everything and trust him with herself completely. She wouldn’t have to worry about anything other than this fire sparkling through her body. Exhilarated, she lay on her back, pulling Damon on top of her, and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

And then he broke the kiss.

“What are you doing?”

“I need you. I don’t want to be alone,” she said, and tried to kiss him again, but he recovered quickly this time. Too quickly.

“Elena, you aren’t thinking clearly. I thought it wasn’t right,” he reminded her of the words she’d told him herself, just a few hours earlier. Elena shook her head. He didn’t understand.

“It’s not. But I don’t care. I need you.”

“Ssh. Let me take care of you.”

“I-” she started and stopped. She didn’t really know what she meant to say. If she said he could make her stop thinking of everything else, he would get it wrong. He would think she was just using him, and that wasn’t the case. But she wasn’t sure how to explain to him any of it. 

“You are hurting,” said Damon, and she shook her head even though she realized he was right. That emptiness in her stomach, that too-fast heartbeat, those tears on the brink of spilling – even with Damon there, she wasn’t over that speed, that horror, and car brakes screeching at the last moment.

She didn’t want to forget, and yet she wished she could.

“I don’t want to think of it.”

He brushed her hair from her forehead. “I know. Do you trust me?”

She hated when he pulled this card. He knew very well that she trusted him more than anyone else just like he knew she wouldn’t lie about it. She couldn’t. Their trust was something unquestionable. Probably unbreakable. 

She could feel him looking at her, calmly waiting for her to give in or to get mad at him for rejecting her and send him away. She could still say something, use one of a thousand outs she could think of, yell at him, seduce him.

She didn’t do any of that. Lying back on the pillow, she nodded.

Her ears registered soft rustling of the sheets, and she felt her comforter moving, sliding off her body, lower and lower until she was left alone with the cold air of the night. Before her mind had a chance to dwell on how exposed she was, covered with nothing but flimsy PJ’s, she felt a whisper of a touch on her ankle.

His lips.

“Are you nervous?” 

His warm breath. Another soft touch. A shiver running through her whole body.

“No.”

The lips resting against her ankle curved in a smile.

“Good.”

He pressed a light kiss to that same spot, and then his lips traveled higher, one inch at a time. Elena’s legs trembled, and when his tongue darted out to taste her skin, she gasped at the feeling. He moved slowly, carefully, cherishing her with soft caresses and open-mouthed kisses. His thumb grazed the underside of her knee, and Elena let out a quiet moan. She had never thought that patch of skin was so sensitive. Every sensation was delightfully overwhelming, and when Damon gently grasped her knees, bending them and parting her legs, she followed without question.

Never in her life had she been this turned on.

Damon nuzzled her inner thigh, his fingertips dancing along the outer side. His lips continued their torturous journey, but the kisses were light, soft. Maddening. Her legs quivered, but he kept tracing them at his insanely slow pace, lingering at every spot like it was his favorite. 

Stopping an inch away from where Elena wanted him, he licked her skin, and she rolled her hips impatiently, huffing in frustration when he pulled away. His hands pressed her hips to the bed, not letting her move as he chuckled, laying a trail of kisses up to her other knee.

“Relax and enjoy,” he said quietly, hooking his thumbs in her shorts. Elena nodded and lifted her hips so he could pull them off her legs. Without his reminder, she parted her legs, silently giving him the final permission to give her the comfort she needed. 

Damon’s hands slipped underneath her cami to stroke her belly, goosebumps rising all over her skin. He traced the contours of her body, circling her breasts. She gasped as he brushed his thumbs over her nipples, kissing the spot just below her hipbone that sent tingles all over her body, making her shiver. 

Elena arched her back, and Damon traced the line where her waistband would be with his tongue, then moved higher, planting a kiss under her belly button, nuzzling her cami out of the way. Before she knew what she was doing, Elena sat up slightly, pulling her last remaining piece of clothing over her head. She felt Damon smile against her stomach as his hands smoothed down her sides and up again.

His lips traveled higher, up her stomach, chest, kissed the valley between her breasts. Elena held her breath as he planted butterfly kisses around one breast. He did the same with the other, biting the underside lightly, and Elena bucked her hips, gasping his name.

Slowly, Damon moved to the center of her breast, and her head fell back onto the pillow with a quiet moan when he traced the areole with his tongue. When she thought she might die from frustration, his lips finally closed around her nipple, and his hand flew up to her mouth just in time to stop her scream. He played with the hardened peak for another minute (hour? day?) and then switched to the other breast, making Elena shake with want and growl against his hand, which she didn’t dare to remove.

It felt wonderful, but not enough. A need was burning inside her, stronger than need to breathe. She wanted more.

“Damon,” she whispered, lifting her hips slightly as his hands moved back down, taking hers. He brought them to his lips, kissing her palms, and intertwined their fingers before his mouth found her for the first time.

Elena gasped in pleasure, blinking away the tears welling up in her eyes. She understood. He wanted her to remember that he wasn’t doing this for fun or sheer comfort; he was here because he loved her. It was a confession and a promise at once – after all, words had never been their strong suit. In response, she caressed the back of his palms with her thumbs, her body shivering at his tender, almost reverent touches. 

“More,” she whispered, and Damon obliged, his touches growing more insistent. He released her hands, reaching under her to lift her hips instead, and Elena sank her fingers into his hair, pressing him harder against her center. Maybe it was too wanton, too revealing – she didn’t care. She wanted this, wanted him, and if his tongue on her was the only thing in her life she could still control, that was fine by her.

“Bite me,” she commanded, and Damon looked up, shaking his head slightly. 

“You don’t want that.”

Elena wanted to argue, but his mouth was back on her, his tongue teasing her clit in slow, intoxicating circles, and she had to bite her lip again and clutch the sheets, unsure she could survive this onslaught of sensation. Her whole body was tense, waiting, straining, wanting, and then his teeth lightly pressed on her clit.

Heat coursed through her body as she shuddered, gripping his hair harder as her head fell back on the pillow. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think, and being lost had never felt this good before.

Elena lay limply on the bed, breathing still erratic, hair a mess, body quivering in aftershocks. She felt Damon lying between her legs, his hair and stubble tickling her inner thighs, fingers caressing her legs in the faintest of touches, not letting go of her skin for a moment.

He was afraid, Elena suddenly realized, afraid that now that she felt better, she would regret what had just happened. He still didn’t really know what it was about. He had no idea that no one else but him could make her feel so lost and so alive at the same time – and that she certainly would never put in anyone else so much trust. 

Elena reached down and pulled him up to her until he was on her eye level. Knowing he could see very well in the dark, Elena smiled and shifted closer, giving him a brief, tender kiss.

“Thank you,” she whispered against his lips, and felt him smile. Damon reached down and pulled the forgotten comforter over her body, tucking her in. Elena smiled and freed her arms, grasping his shoulders and making him lie down.

“Stay,” she asked, putting her head on his chest. He kissed her hair. 

“Okay. Sleep. You need to get some sleep.”

She woke up to an empty bed, a contented smile on her lips.


End file.
